Endurance

2 weeks ago Dr.Lerner increased my Valcyte dose to 3 450mg pills/day. He will check my blood next week to make sure it is okay and then we will go up to 4 pills a day- the full dose. I can't believe I have not been on the full dose!? I have been holding steady physically, continuing to spend my days in pain management through acupuncture, chiropractic and most recently gentle yoga (2x/wk). I have found that I can do one thing a day without resulting in a crash.

We have had a hard couple of weeks emotionally and have been growing weary. Chronic illness can really take a toll on a marriage and on kids. It is hard on friendships. There are only so many meals one can bring, so many times they can listen to you tell them how much pain you are in. Encouragement came the other day when a friend reminded me how much we endured in the time surrounding Grant's birth. (www.grantsamuel.blogspot.com) Since then, seemingly out of the blue others have been giving me Bible verses on patience and endurance. Throughout the week I've gained strength reflecting on how faithful God was to us during that "Grant season." Then, today, a package arrived FedEx. Inside was a beautifully wrapped DVD titled "Grant's Story." 6 1/2 years ago, our friend (and now well known videographer) offered to film Grant's birth, interview us afterward, collect photos and put together a video about Grant. Well, life got busy and we never got to see the finished product. Today, in my hand, I held the finished product. It is such a gift to me and perhaps most of all a reminder of God's faithfulness when I needed it most.

The Hidden Treasure

It has been 9 months since I have exercised. I have been having a lot of pain in my muscles due to inactivity so I decided to try a "healing yoga" class I've been eyeing. The last time I really did yoga was 7 years ago before I had Grant. I had butterflies in my stomach as I entered the studio, not knowing if I would be able to make it through the session.

The instructor began class with us lying on the floor as she recounted a true story about a man from New Mexico who hid his money in the mountains and left clues for others to find his goods. She drew the parallel that there was some hidden good that would come out of all of our situations. As she started talking tears welled up in my eyes. A feeling of thankfulness in the midst of my brokenness overcame me. I was reminded of the story in the Bible: (Matthew 13:44-45)

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

These parables teach the same lesson—the kingdom of heaven is of inestimable value. Jesus is telling us it is worth giving all we have to possess the kingdom. In both these parables the treasure is hidden. The only thing that is clear is that the kingdom of God is easy to miss.